I been out riding the range for a short while so I thought I would stop in just to see what has been going on around here.
Seems like ol' Couch has gotten a lot of his clientele lit up on the moonshine that he brews out back of his place again. I would be careful with that so called whiskey though, the well he gets the water to brew it with is located awfully close to the outhouse pit. The stuff always did have a funny smell.
They say Couch lost most of his eyesight when he cut his home brew whiskey with some of that black oil stuff they called gasoline that he bought from some guy named Doc Jim who was just pulling his wagon through town.Couch was so mad, he made the guy work for him until the cows came home or the clown went back to prison.
We are all still waiting for that to happen.
I hope the Clown takes his pack of ne'er-do-wells with him when he leaves. They are bringing down the property values.
Doc Jim like to brag that he is a surgeon. He says he went to this proctological school or something. Nobody here knows what he is talking about, but he has a steady stream of those bashers going in and out of his office all the time. They all seem pretty happy when they come out of there I gotta say.
Couch corralled some other guy a while back. Goes by the name of Crow. He says its because of dark hair, The rest of us think its because he was tarred and feathered at his last hangout.
Old BP has been taking shooting lessons from MT but Red told MT that it was a waste of time. Seems that BP hasn't learned when to keep the safety on. BP shot a hole right through the middle of MT's brand new Stetson. Put a crease right through MT's hair that MT has to comb over to cover. Boy was he mad...
It's fun watching BP get all lit up and go after Wizbritches though, Wiz has no idea which way to run. Wizbritches can move fast I gotta say, seems like survival is a strong motivator for him.
Software granted new names to a bunch of people around here, getting hard to figure out who is who and which is which.
Software is doing real well for himself though, he bought a new house from Extreme with this thing they call a toilet in it. Although, nobody's figured out where to hook the thing up to yet.
Gotta hand it to Extreme, he is quite the salesman, seems he saw one of those toilet things on his trip back east and decided somebody ought to have one in town.
Scheqky is also doing pretty well for himself. He went into San Francisco and bought a bunch of hardware and tools and opened up another general store. PHX and Tom weren't too pleased about this and tried to burn down his store one Saturday night. But they were both too drunk to get the thing going so they ended up with a big bonfire in the middle of the street when Tom stumbled over his own feet, spilled that gasoline stuff all over and then accidentally lit it with his stogie.
Old North Bay Clay got caught in in the mess and set his pants on fire. In all my born days I have never seen anybody run that fast.Seems he was pretty drunk too and fell in the mud that had some of that gasoline stuff in it.
I guess it soaked into his pants and went up when Tom's stogie dropped out of his mouth because he was laughing so hard. Clay was about 300 feet from the creek and I swear he made it in 3 strides. He farted while he was running and he looked like he was rocket propelled with flame shooting out of his ass like that.
Another new guy in town named Maddracha comes from some place across the pond and is a real nice guy. Watch him though, he has that funny grin that tells you he's holding something in his boot.
The rattlesnakes around town are still biting real bad. Seems they are as bad as the Minnesota Mosquitoes old Duluth used to talk about.
Bekkums hasn't been around for a while, I wonder what she's been up to. She was the best dancer at Red's place. She put on those fishnet stockings and the place went nuts.
That gelding that Red rides is much better now. Seems that the shot MT made did some good after all. Red was never able to break that horse until MT made his famous shot.
PHX is still hard to figure out though. She is the prettiest thing in town now but won't let anyone near her. Even Tom can't get near her and they own the other general store together. I guess nobody around here is used to having a high class woman around. She never swears or calls anybody names, or she calls them names that they can't figure out.
I guess she went to college down south and still reads a lot of books. She opened up a library but hardly anybody in town goes there because they don't know letters.
She has been talking about opening up a school in town.
Myself I think it's a waste of time trying to bring civilization to a place like this.
Well, Thunder's gonna head down to Red's place now and see if he can't stir up some trouble with this luscious little blonde. Nice talking to you, and I'll see you around.
Thunder
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