Well, Ol Thunder is back with you. I gotta tell you foks I just dodged a great big bullet and barely got back here alive.
So let me tell you how the story goes, and I am telling all you folks, this is the God's honest truth. There aint one lie in the story.
I swear...
Really...
I been hangin' out at Lil's quite a bit lately and have pretty much gotten used to the place and Lil. She's a good gal, but she seems to like to be in control most of the time, what with making me take baths every Saturday night. She even makes me wear britches when I am walking around her place upstairs.
She has this thing about seeing me in my red longies and doesn't appear to enjoy it.
I had to wash my face and hands and clothes all the time and I even have to clean up my moustache after I eat.
See, I like to keep the food in it for sampling later on during the night.
It was getting a little boring for me and I am not accustomed to having such a tight rein kept on me.
So I have been wandering around town quite a bit. I been hitting some of the other saloons and generally just hanging around playin' poker with the Rangers and all that.
The Mine had a real quick price increase in shares, so I sold most of my shares at the high point and then bought back in when the price dropped down to below where it had been before the jump.
I did real well on that move I gotta say.
Like I said, I been playin' poker and such and I ain't got into any trouble with any body else, but I guess you could say that Lil and I aren't really on speaking terms anymore.
It all started when I went into that library place with all them books in it just to see what was so good about books.
Now, I ain't much on letters, but there was this sweet looking lady working in there that kind of caught my eye.
She goes by the name of Library Mary and she spent almost a whole day showing me books and explained a lot of what was in them to me. It seems like she knows quite a bit about things and has read most every book in the place. She also went to college at the Corsicana Female Lterary Institute in Texas and is one smart cookie...
Not to mention she really is a fine looking gal.
She knows lots about a lot of things.
She tells me that she used to work in one of those laboratory places back east and even told me about looking through this looking glass thing that makes really small things look big.
So anyway she brought out this book filled with pictures and I spent the better part of the afternoon lookin' at the book and asking all kinds of questions.
Mary was helping me out with the letters that told what them pictures was.Those books was filled with all kinds of them three dollar words and she was kind enough to help me with them. I was right impressed with all that she knew and if I hadn't had to go back for a fancy sit down supper with Lil, I would have spent a lot more time with her.
Now the next day, I decided I would go out for a ride on my Palomino, Sally, and headed up toward the mine.
Sally threw a shoe so I ended up walking a spell and seeing as how it was so hot I decided to head to the swimmin' hole to cool off a bit.
Much to my surprise when I got there I saw Library Mary in the pond. I couldn't believe my eyes and not wanting to be any kind of nasty I let out a shout so she wouldn't be too surprised when I came over the rise.
Well, she heard me and told me that it was ok for me to join her in the pond. So I went over the hill and was so surprised at what I saw, my eyes almost fell out of my head.
I was expecting to see her in some sort of a petticoat in the water and I was going to wear my longies into the pond so I didn't appear any kind of rude, or embarrass her in the least.
Folks...she was skinny dippin... and I ain't never seen anything like it before in my life.
She was up to her waist in water and had nothing else covering anything !!!
HOOOO-EEEE!!!
So being all gentlemanly like my sister Otie Mae used to teach me when I was young I asked her if she was sure it was ok for me to be there.
She told me she was glad it was me and told me that I shoulld jump in with her. Believe me, it didn't take me but a New York minute to get down into the altogether and jump right in!!!
Now, I been swimmin' since I was a young pup growing up in Wapello County Iowa on the Des Moines River back home, but I ain't never had so much fun.
Library Mary turned my stop at the swimmin' hole into one of the best times I have had in years.
Now I told you earlier that I am not too liking of that soap thing, but she had some of that lavender smelling soap that comes from out New York way and she suds me up and down and all over the place and got me just as clean as a whistle.
We spent the entire afternoon together swimmin' and having the time of our lives.I had no idea that taking a bath could be so much fun, and I would gladly volunteer to take one every day if it was that much fun.
We decided we had better head back into town before the sun went down too far so we climbed into her wagon, tied Sally's rein to the back of the wagon and rode along holding hands, singing and kissing all the way.
When we got back to town, she headed back to her place and I took off walkin to the livery stable to get a shoe put on Sally.
While I was walkin' over there, the feller from the Western Union place hollered at me and told me that I had a telegram waiting at the office.
I stopped over there and got the telegram and since I don't do letters very well the only thing I could read on it is that it came from my little sister Otie Mae. I stuffed it into my pocket and kept on a walkin.
While the farrier was putting new shoes on Sally I decided that I was getting pretty tired of being rode hard like I was by Lil and went to Rebecca 47's hotel and picked up my things. Rebecca 47 gave me a look and told me that I had better walk lightly around Lil, but didn't let me know anything else was up.
I went back to the livery stable got Sally, put my saddle bags on her, loaded up my Winchester, put on my Sam Colt revolvers and headed out to Lil's.
On my way over there, I walked by Couch's Snake pit and heard all them basher trash types in there just a hollerin' and yellin.
The Snake pit is about the same except that most of them rattlers got their fangs taken out.
Their hiss and rattle is a lot more show than go anymore. What with Couch talkin' them out of their claims for cheap money they ain't got no shares left to cover their gambling losses to the boys and gals at the high class places.
Doc Jem caled it quits and left town on his donkey named Minerva with no money at all and not much else left to show for his time in the Comstock short of a good case of the piles.
Oh, sure them basher trashers are all nasty and loud and all that, but nobody listens to them anymore and they just get boring after a real short time.
So I walked into Lil's place and she caught me out of the corner of her eye.
Lil had found out about my excursion at the swimmin' hole from some basher trash fella that was spyin' on us and went back and told her all about my new bathing method.
Lil took one look at me, picked up a shot glass and heaved it and just missed my head.Then she started swearin at me and throwing more shot glasses, whiskey bottles, and beer glasses at me.
Fortunately for me I'm real quick so I was able to dodge all the flying stuff and even caught the brand new bottle of Jim Beam she threw before I lit out the door.
I tell you what folks, I have had flamethrowers on my ass before but Lil was mad as hell and wasn't about to let me get away scott free without some sort of injury.
So she grabbed her shotgun and came a runnin' down the street after me.
She let off one shot that went wild, but it was a double barreled Remington 12 guage and her second shot caught me in the right leg with about a half a load of number 5 buckshot.
I wasn't about to stick around to see Seadoc, so I kept on a ridin' full tilt until I got about eight miles out of town.
I pulled over at this abandoned miners shack and started to dress my wound. It was nasty lookin' and there was blood all over the place.
I drank about a quarter of that bottle of Jim Beam in one gulp, pulled out my Bowie Knife and cut the heck out of that brand new pair of Levi's. I even had to cut my red longies so I had to take another swig of the Jim Beam just to help with the sorrow of losing a good friend.
So I dressed it up quite a bit using some of the things I learned back when I was in the Union Army back in the Civil War from one of them Yankee Surgeons.
I made me a poultice from some moss and found an old piece of moldy bread. I scraped off some of that mold , put it on the dressing and got the whole thing as cleaned up as I could.
Then I drank some more of that Jim Beam and passed out.
Next morning I heard some movement outside the door and realized that all I had was my Sam Colts and went divin' under the table six guns at the ready.
I heard the most wonderful voice I could have heard at that point in time. It was as sweet as a whole field of clover.
It was Library Mary tellin' me not to blast her, that she was there to help and she didn't have anyone else with her.
She came in, gave me a great big hug and kiss and started fussin' over me and my leg.She opened up the dressing and said I did a good job dressing it but I was going to have to go see a doctor right quick or there was going to be real trouble.
So we went outside and I saw she had her wagon full of all her stuff. She tied Sally to the back of the wagon, helped me climb in and we took off headin' down south. She said she had heard all about the fuss and loaded her stuff on the wagon and left town looking for me.
She even brought some laudnum with her.Now I ain't much for that laudnum stuff, but I tell you it made that day's ride in that wagon a whole lot easier to take.
We stopped in at this little town where she said she knew this doctor that was also in the war, but served General Lee.
I wasn't real keen on havin' some Johnny Reb workin' on me but she told me she had known him since before the war and it would be ok.
Well what with my leg a hurtin' the way it did I didn't have much choice.
So we went in to see him and he was a right nice old fella, Doc Vern. He was a little gray in his beard but it turns out that he worked at that Andersonville place and was trying to make up for all the bad things that happened while he was there.
He started tellin' me about it and from what he told me it was hell on earth. He said he tried to keep as many Union boys alive as he could, but the Confederacy didn't have anywhere near enough supplies to keep them all going. So he was buying stuff out of his own pocket to use for food and medical supplies and whatever else he could. He said he was right sorry for the things that happened and was bound and determined to right as many wrongs as he could.
He was a good man and I became real fast friends with him and trusted him as much as any Union Infantryman from the 14'th Iowa Infantry could trust a Rebel.
He made me get down to the altogether again and Library Mary was happy to assist me getting that way.
I think she likes the way I look when I'm buck nekkid.
I couldn't imagine why, but she seems to enjoy it...
Anyhow, when Mary was takin' off my britches she found that telegram and read it to me.
It was from Otie Mae and she wanted me to come out there and help her and her husband Doc Miller on this project they was working on.
So I stayed there for a couple of weeks and Mary stayed with me and was nursing me back to health.
She told Doc Vern all about the new things she had been reading about and they worked together real hard and saved my leg.
She said she didn't want to go back to the Comstock any more cause them bashers had pretty much ruined the place Lil certainly didn't want her around, and since I had loaded up all my gold, and all my shares, we was pretty well set.
I had already planned to leave town so we took off for this little Texas town called Corsicana and Otie mae's ranch, The Rockin T...
Well, I'm walkin' with a heck of a limp, I can't ride a horse yet, but I seem to be recovering and with all this good nursing care I have gotten I guess you could say that even though it was technically buckshot I dodged another bullet.
I'll tell you more about our trip back to the Great State of Texas in a bit, so ya'll pour yourself a snifter of that good brandy light yourself another cigar and stick around.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Couch's Snake Pit
Well, Ol' Thunder's been hanging around town a spell and I got some updates for all of you out there if you have a few minutes.
Things get curiouser and curiouser around here.That much is certain.
Diamond Lil is still working out the kinks in her new place at the old Opera House, the place looking real nice and is crowded and rowdy almost every night. She does serve some watered down whiskey, but if you're real nice to her she'll set you up with some of that fine Kentucky Sour Mash sippin' whiskey.
Sometimes she charges me for it, but I figure that she's a little sweet on me, so she doesn't charge me the full price...usually...Well, sometimes...
It's nice to spend some time with a good lookin' dame like Lil, but she has this thing about being clean. Why, the first day she got to town she had me fixed up with a bath and everything. Now she makes me take one every Saturday night. I ain't used to anything like that I am here to tell you. I think I'm allergic to that stuff they call soap. Gives me the heebie jeebies just to think about it.
Lil even burned my favorite red cotton longies the first day she made me take that bath. As a matter of fact, she burned all of my clothes. I was all worried that I was going to have to walk around town in my birthday suit until she pulled out a fine looking set of clothes complete with a hat so big that I can water three horses out of it. I am tellin all you Rangers out there, That is one fine set of clothes.
Why, she even gave me a pocket watch with a gold chain and leather watch fob on it. She says she won it from some fancy dude she ran into back in Abilene town. She said his name was Doc Holliday and he hung around with this fella named Wyatt Earp.
They came through here once a while ago, but they was just passin' through, heading to a place named Tombstone.
That doesn't sound very promising to me.
Couches snake pit is still holding on, but I guess some of them rattler's that hang around there was run out of town lately with some of the townsfolk chasing them with pitchforks and shovels and picks and axes and even torches.
Mo was on of the latest ones to turn tail after he had a run in with Red and MT down at Reds MB Saloon. I guess he'd been drinking that rotgut stuff over at Couch's place all day and got really loudmouthed and drunk. He was so obnoxious that he got the whole place mad at him and later he got his britches set on fire.
The way it went was that Talkinbull got into some of that smooth sippin' whiskey and forgot to sip it. He was up at the mine all day working in the Sutro with some dynamite and brought some blasting powder home with him.
He says he forgot to clean out his pockets, but I think he had been looking for a little fireworks since it was the Fourth of July.
Mo was passed out on the street and Talkinbull spread some powder around his britches, left a trail back about thirty feet, lit it and watched when he finally woke up with that stuff just a sparkin' and spreading flames all over his pants. Mo ran about ten feet and jumped into the waterin' trough out front of Red's place. That spooked the horses that was tied up there and they took off a runnin.
Well, it seems that Mo got his spurs caught in a rein and ended up getting drug through the Cholla's with a great big hole in the seat of his britches. He was screamin' and just a carryin' on like nothin' I ain't never heard before..
It took Seadoc 4 hours and 3 bottles of whiskey to pull all them thorns out of his backside.
I never knew that Seadoc was a Doctor until that little adventure. I guess he calls himself Seadoc cause he likes to work on fish. Now I ain't never heard of nothing like that, and I have no idea why he is out here in the middle of the desert lookin' to work on fish.
There ain't nothin' but a small pond out back of the mine. Seadoc says he's going to stock it with Catfish from back around St. Louis.
He's still a workin' on that boat out west of town though. He keeps sayin' that California is going to slide off into the ocean someday and he wants to be ready.
Anyhow, Mo said he had had enough of them losers at Couches place and decided to ride on. Of course he didn't sit in the saddle real easy after that and stole a bunch of pillows from the hotel that Extreme runs. Before he left town Extreme caught up with him and demanded that Mo pay for those pillows. Mo didn't have any money cause he kept listening to Couch so Extreme took his horse, his saddle and Mo left town with a pair of saddlebags and four pillows under his arms walkin' in the hot July Sun. Extreme was ready to string him up, but decided it would be better just to let him walk out of town.
I heard Mo ended up in this little place in Lodi California and wrote a poem about being stuck there.
Couch is still his mean old nasty grouchy self and he seems to be letting the bright shiny attitudes that people are feeling since the mine started cleaning up the old messes get to him. He is just as foul as a vulture with his head inside a rotting steer carcass on a hot August day in the Comstock.
He damn sure doesn't smell any better either. I don't know what he's takin' a bath in, but it ain't good.
None of us Rangers will go near the Snake Pit, but Lil went in there one Saturday night. Gotta hand it to Lil, she is one brave woman. Couch took one look at her and decided that he was going to make a play for her. Lil just played him on like a greenhorn on a poker table.
She laid into him with some of the finest insullts you have ever heard. Lil has that way about her, so you gotta be careful and mind your manners.
She told me later about some of the things she saw going on in there and I will tell you straight out folks, those stories she told me about Couch and the rest of them rattlers would be enough to gag a suck egg mule.
Lil told me that Couch has this big old beat up ornate chair set up on this here riser thing and he does this thing he calls holding court several times a day.
Well, this Couch court thing is without a doubt one of the dumbest and most disgusting things I have ever heard of. It seems that Couch gets into this ratty old dress and sits up on the chair. Then them stupid bashers pay him a shiny silver dollar just to look up his skirt.
Now I don't know about any of you out there, but I don't know which is more vile or disgusting, the thought of Couch in a dress with no bloomers or anything else on to cover hisself or them idiot bashers paying a real silver dollar to look up his skirt...
Docjem is still hanging around the place in his Procto Palace thing and this story ain't much better than Couches Court.
I guess them Bashers get lit up on that cheap lousy whiskey and go off into that Palace and get this thing called a high colonic. Some of them bashers are so stupid they actually go in there two or three times a day. I don't know what Docjem does with the stuff, but I wouldn't want to order anything to eat from that buffet table.
Now Lil said that she had seen enough after about an hour in the place and she took her silver flask and left the place and came back to her place. She was wearing a green silk dress, but she looked pretty green after being in Couches place and I couldn't tell if that was the color of her skin or a reflection from the dress.
So after a while of sitting down and a few belts of wine, she got back to the business of tending her bar.
Well Couch was just lit enough and jealous enough to want to find out what made this Dame tick. So he lit out and stumbled down from the bad part of town to Lil's place. Couch was stumbling drunk and slobbering all over himself and everyone he saw. He came into Lil's place, walked right around behind the bar and grabbed onto Lil's Bustier.
Now most folks would have been a little unnerved by this, but Lil didn't miss a beat. She reached over and grabbed the axe handle she keeps behind the bar, swung it underhanded and nailed Couch right in the puppies!!!
Couch let out a war whoop that sent chills down every Indian fighter in town and flew straight up about four feet. He landed on his feet, stumbled back holding himself in the crotch and landed on the edge of the spitoon. The spittoon flew up in the air did a flip and landed right over his mouth upside down with all that gook running into his mouth and all over his face.
Seeing as how Couch couldn't breath very well he laid there and gagged for about ten minutes.
He was the center of attention with everybody watching him trying to get air into his lungs.
Finally Red, Me, and MT grabbed him by the boots and started dragging him out of the place, but not before Lil pulled out her switchblade and sliced off his money pouch scattering all that money he made from the bashers looking up his skirt all over the floor.
We drug him out and dumped him in the manure pile at the end of the boardwalk and went back into Lil's saloon.
Couch had no idea, but he was buying drinks all night long, just like he used to before he got into that basher thing.
It's too bad he went astray, he was a good guy a couple of years ago and we all wonder what happened to him.
Well, that's enough for tonight, I'm fixin to hit the hay.
You all take care and I'll keep you posted.
Thunder...
Things get curiouser and curiouser around here.That much is certain.
Diamond Lil is still working out the kinks in her new place at the old Opera House, the place looking real nice and is crowded and rowdy almost every night. She does serve some watered down whiskey, but if you're real nice to her she'll set you up with some of that fine Kentucky Sour Mash sippin' whiskey.
Sometimes she charges me for it, but I figure that she's a little sweet on me, so she doesn't charge me the full price...usually...Well, sometimes...
It's nice to spend some time with a good lookin' dame like Lil, but she has this thing about being clean. Why, the first day she got to town she had me fixed up with a bath and everything. Now she makes me take one every Saturday night. I ain't used to anything like that I am here to tell you. I think I'm allergic to that stuff they call soap. Gives me the heebie jeebies just to think about it.
Lil even burned my favorite red cotton longies the first day she made me take that bath. As a matter of fact, she burned all of my clothes. I was all worried that I was going to have to walk around town in my birthday suit until she pulled out a fine looking set of clothes complete with a hat so big that I can water three horses out of it. I am tellin all you Rangers out there, That is one fine set of clothes.
Why, she even gave me a pocket watch with a gold chain and leather watch fob on it. She says she won it from some fancy dude she ran into back in Abilene town. She said his name was Doc Holliday and he hung around with this fella named Wyatt Earp.
They came through here once a while ago, but they was just passin' through, heading to a place named Tombstone.
That doesn't sound very promising to me.
Couches snake pit is still holding on, but I guess some of them rattler's that hang around there was run out of town lately with some of the townsfolk chasing them with pitchforks and shovels and picks and axes and even torches.
Mo was on of the latest ones to turn tail after he had a run in with Red and MT down at Reds MB Saloon. I guess he'd been drinking that rotgut stuff over at Couch's place all day and got really loudmouthed and drunk. He was so obnoxious that he got the whole place mad at him and later he got his britches set on fire.
The way it went was that Talkinbull got into some of that smooth sippin' whiskey and forgot to sip it. He was up at the mine all day working in the Sutro with some dynamite and brought some blasting powder home with him.
He says he forgot to clean out his pockets, but I think he had been looking for a little fireworks since it was the Fourth of July.
Mo was passed out on the street and Talkinbull spread some powder around his britches, left a trail back about thirty feet, lit it and watched when he finally woke up with that stuff just a sparkin' and spreading flames all over his pants. Mo ran about ten feet and jumped into the waterin' trough out front of Red's place. That spooked the horses that was tied up there and they took off a runnin.
Well, it seems that Mo got his spurs caught in a rein and ended up getting drug through the Cholla's with a great big hole in the seat of his britches. He was screamin' and just a carryin' on like nothin' I ain't never heard before..
It took Seadoc 4 hours and 3 bottles of whiskey to pull all them thorns out of his backside.
I never knew that Seadoc was a Doctor until that little adventure. I guess he calls himself Seadoc cause he likes to work on fish. Now I ain't never heard of nothing like that, and I have no idea why he is out here in the middle of the desert lookin' to work on fish.
There ain't nothin' but a small pond out back of the mine. Seadoc says he's going to stock it with Catfish from back around St. Louis.
He's still a workin' on that boat out west of town though. He keeps sayin' that California is going to slide off into the ocean someday and he wants to be ready.
Anyhow, Mo said he had had enough of them losers at Couches place and decided to ride on. Of course he didn't sit in the saddle real easy after that and stole a bunch of pillows from the hotel that Extreme runs. Before he left town Extreme caught up with him and demanded that Mo pay for those pillows. Mo didn't have any money cause he kept listening to Couch so Extreme took his horse, his saddle and Mo left town with a pair of saddlebags and four pillows under his arms walkin' in the hot July Sun. Extreme was ready to string him up, but decided it would be better just to let him walk out of town.
I heard Mo ended up in this little place in Lodi California and wrote a poem about being stuck there.
Couch is still his mean old nasty grouchy self and he seems to be letting the bright shiny attitudes that people are feeling since the mine started cleaning up the old messes get to him. He is just as foul as a vulture with his head inside a rotting steer carcass on a hot August day in the Comstock.
He damn sure doesn't smell any better either. I don't know what he's takin' a bath in, but it ain't good.
None of us Rangers will go near the Snake Pit, but Lil went in there one Saturday night. Gotta hand it to Lil, she is one brave woman. Couch took one look at her and decided that he was going to make a play for her. Lil just played him on like a greenhorn on a poker table.
She laid into him with some of the finest insullts you have ever heard. Lil has that way about her, so you gotta be careful and mind your manners.
She told me later about some of the things she saw going on in there and I will tell you straight out folks, those stories she told me about Couch and the rest of them rattlers would be enough to gag a suck egg mule.
Lil told me that Couch has this big old beat up ornate chair set up on this here riser thing and he does this thing he calls holding court several times a day.
Well, this Couch court thing is without a doubt one of the dumbest and most disgusting things I have ever heard of. It seems that Couch gets into this ratty old dress and sits up on the chair. Then them stupid bashers pay him a shiny silver dollar just to look up his skirt.
Now I don't know about any of you out there, but I don't know which is more vile or disgusting, the thought of Couch in a dress with no bloomers or anything else on to cover hisself or them idiot bashers paying a real silver dollar to look up his skirt...
Docjem is still hanging around the place in his Procto Palace thing and this story ain't much better than Couches Court.
I guess them Bashers get lit up on that cheap lousy whiskey and go off into that Palace and get this thing called a high colonic. Some of them bashers are so stupid they actually go in there two or three times a day. I don't know what Docjem does with the stuff, but I wouldn't want to order anything to eat from that buffet table.
Now Lil said that she had seen enough after about an hour in the place and she took her silver flask and left the place and came back to her place. She was wearing a green silk dress, but she looked pretty green after being in Couches place and I couldn't tell if that was the color of her skin or a reflection from the dress.
So after a while of sitting down and a few belts of wine, she got back to the business of tending her bar.
Well Couch was just lit enough and jealous enough to want to find out what made this Dame tick. So he lit out and stumbled down from the bad part of town to Lil's place. Couch was stumbling drunk and slobbering all over himself and everyone he saw. He came into Lil's place, walked right around behind the bar and grabbed onto Lil's Bustier.
Now most folks would have been a little unnerved by this, but Lil didn't miss a beat. She reached over and grabbed the axe handle she keeps behind the bar, swung it underhanded and nailed Couch right in the puppies!!!
Couch let out a war whoop that sent chills down every Indian fighter in town and flew straight up about four feet. He landed on his feet, stumbled back holding himself in the crotch and landed on the edge of the spitoon. The spittoon flew up in the air did a flip and landed right over his mouth upside down with all that gook running into his mouth and all over his face.
Seeing as how Couch couldn't breath very well he laid there and gagged for about ten minutes.
He was the center of attention with everybody watching him trying to get air into his lungs.
Finally Red, Me, and MT grabbed him by the boots and started dragging him out of the place, but not before Lil pulled out her switchblade and sliced off his money pouch scattering all that money he made from the bashers looking up his skirt all over the floor.
We drug him out and dumped him in the manure pile at the end of the boardwalk and went back into Lil's saloon.
Couch had no idea, but he was buying drinks all night long, just like he used to before he got into that basher thing.
It's too bad he went astray, he was a good guy a couple of years ago and we all wonder what happened to him.
Well, that's enough for tonight, I'm fixin to hit the hay.
You all take care and I'll keep you posted.
Thunder...
Diamond Lil Comes to the Comstock!!!
Well, it seems that the mine is trying to clean up the place a bit since I took off on that last Mustang Roundup down south a ways.
I don't know if it will ever work though, I cannot figure out where they are going to put all of this trash.
Couch's Snake Pit is still filled up with the same basher trash that have been dirtying up the town for the past couple of years and Doc Jim has opened up a place in the back room that he calls the Procto Palace.
He sure keeps busy servicing all them weirdo's that Couch brings in. I have no idea what he does there, but I would bet a fifty dollar gold piece on a pair of deuces that it ain't no good for a regular cowboy.
Couch bought some newfangled contraption with some long hoses on it that are hooked to some kind of pump that runs down to the outhouse. Nobody but Doc Jem and the rest of them snakes know what the thing does, but it sure doesn't look like a lot of fun to me or pretty much anybody else in town.
While I was on that last ride I stopped into this here place down south called Las Vegas. There was only a couple of gambling parlours with saloons in them in the whole place.
They was named The Golden Nugget and another wild looking place named after some old guy called Binion's.
The whole town doesn't seem like much to me, just a dry dusty place out in the middle of the desert that I doubt will ever be much of town. There sure isn't much to see down there and the nearest waterin' hole is about twenty miles away down in this place called Black Canyon. There was talk about putting in some sort of water storage place called a reservoir in a few years but that is going to take a lot of work and I doubt whether anybody would move out there just to live in such a god forsaken place.
Anyway while I was wetting my whistle over at the Golden Nugget I laid eyes on one of the prettiest filly's I have ever seen. She called herself Diamond Lil and was real busy gambling with all the drifters that happened to come through the saloon. She was all dolled up in the finest silk dress I have ever seen.
The thing was covered with all these sparkly things she called rhinestones. She told me that she had a whole wagon full of them dresses and I was so impressed that I sat down to play a few hands of poker with her.
Well, a few hands turned into an all niter and half the next day. We was playing poker, shooting the breeze and sipping some of the finest whiskey I have ever tasted.She tells me that she grew up out east back in Dan'l Boone country in this little town in Kentucky. She told me about all these Whiskey Distilleries scattered all over the county. Then she told me that most of those counties around there is dry and I had no idea what she was talking about.
She told me that the whiskey they made there had to be put on wagons and sold across the county lines or even the state line. I was incredulous and asked her how in the world they stayed in business.
Well, come to find out, she had known this here fine southern gentleman named Jim Beam and was out about the country peddling his whiskey. She had three whole wagons of the stuff and I was a hopin' that she was about to take a shine to me like I did to her.
So I spent the better part of two days tellin' her about the Comstock and all the folks that lived up in the hills around the mine.I told her about Judge Software, Red, MT, Couch and the dirtballs that hang around his place, I told her about PHX and most of the rest of the folks and she was right impressed with the sounds of it. I warned her about the rattler's a hanging around and how they was always trying to jump claims. She told me that no rattler has ever gotten close to her and from the way she handled herself I could see that she meant business.
So Diamond Lil decided that she would come to the Comstock and see what the place was all about. She did take a shine to me I guess 'cause she wanted me to ride with her entourage back home.
Now this is where I was really impressed.Diamond Lil had a wagon made up for her back in this town she called New Orleans, 'cept she pronounced it Nah'lens and it was fancier than Bob Allens undertakers wagon. This wagon had all kinds of sparkly things all over it and Lil told me that a lot of it was made from this stuff that came from someplace named Austria. She called it Austrian Crystal and it sparkled like a whole field of Comstock Gold in the June sun.
I ain't never laid eyes on something that fancy, but that was just the beginning.
Diamond Lil had 7 wagons all filled with all kinds of stuff and the three wagons filled with that Jim Beam Whiskey. She also brought along a bunch of girls that she had found while she had been traveling. They was some real nice looking girls too. They had names like Suzy Boomers, Big Betty's and another girl that went by the name of the Midnight Cowgirl. They was all fine lookin' and they all was happy to get moving to a better place than that Las Vegas hellhole.
So we all got to The Comstock and everybody in town came out to see what all the hubub was about. They was a shoutin' from the rooftops that ol' Thunder's brought back a dame.
We hit town and the partying started and ran for three days. There was all kinds of hell being raised and even ol MT was out on another wild one. Him and PHX was drunk for the entire time and they even closed up their general store just so they could keep partying.
I gotta say that Lil could handle her liquor though, She sipped and sipped all night long and I never once saw her even look a little bit tipsy.
So after all the drunks slept it off Lil decided that she should open up her own place.
The only place that could possibly hold all the folks that she brought with her was the old opera house that was owned by Bugs just before he passed on. There was some kind of a legal thing going on with it and the Clown got together with a bunch of them rattlers and was tryin' to steal it from MT as Bugs named him as the sole heir to his claim.Software had been working on the claim for quite some time and was busy in PHX's library trying to find some law that wouldn't allow the Clown to get the opera house.
So one fine Thursday afternoon when Software was holding court Lil got all fixed up and went into the court to contest the legal proceedings. Lil brought up how Couch and the Clown and the rest of them scumbags was bringin' down the property values and they could not be trusted with a place as fine as the Opera House. She argued and argued with them rattlers in court all in front of old Software all morning.Then she asked to see the Judge in his chambers. She gave old Software a steely eyed look that would make any cowboy this side of the Pecos River stand up and take notice.
So off they went.
They was back there in that anteroom for well over three hours and then they came out. Software was all red faced and looking like he had just had his hat handed to him. I ain't never seen Software look like that and I doubt if I ever will again.
He sat back down at the bench, looked at the rattlers, then looked over at Lil, then back at the rattlers and slammed down his gavel saying that the claim they filed was not legal in the State of Nevada and sold the Opera House to Lil for a price to be agreed upon by her and MT.
Well MT was so happy that he was not going to have to turn over the Opera House to the rattler's that he looked at Lil and told her she could buy it for twenty dollars and three cases of that Jim Beam Whiskey.
Lil reached into her purse, pulled out a bright shiny twenty dollar gold piece and handed it to Software. She looked at MT and told him that he could drink all the whiskey he wanted for the next six months at her place and she wouldn't charge him a dime.
You would think MT died and went to heaven judging from the look on his face. His smile was so big you could see all the gold molars he had.
That was the end of the court case and Lil was now the proud owner of the Opera House.
I found out later that Lil had known Software back when he was a Riverboat Gambler going up and down the Mississippi river. Evidently he had gotten himself into some real trouble involving the Mayor of New Orleans and the mayor's wife.I found out they was a fixin' to hang Software and Lil had stepped in and saved him from getting his neck stretched. I guess the Mayor's wife was messin around all over at the time and them being from down south the mayor wasn't too keen on finding a naked man with his wife.
So the mayor had the New Orleans sherrif throw Software in jail on a bunch of trumped up charges and they was going to hang him in the morning.
Now, being as sharp as she is Lil also had some information about the Mayor and had worked out a trade.
Software lit out of that town on a horse he borrowed from Lil and never returned it or paid for it so he was given the choice of facing the prospect of having her tell all the folks in the Comstock that respected Software what kind of a checkered past he really had.
I don't know if it would have mattered to the folks up here, but Software enjoyed his position as a judge and didn't want to hurt that image.
Lil and PHX got along real good and all the girls that Lil brought with her were not your typical barflies. Lil went into the General store that PHX and Tom owned and bought up all the hammers and nails and cleaning supplies they had in the place. She put her crew and a few of the other locals around town to work and the Opera House was back to looking like a real nice place.
She hung up this chandelier that was made out of more of the Austrian Crystal and ain't no one ever seen anything so fancy outside of San Francisco.
Them girls started teaching all the men in town how to read and write. I never would have thought it was possible myself. But they was a determined bunch.
There was gamblin' and dancin' and all kinds of fun going on over there at all hours of the day and night. Lil kept a tight rein on the place too. There was the normal amount of swearing going on, but there was no way she would let any of Couch's sleazy pukes into the place.
Of course them rattlers was a screamin' and yellin' all the louder. Lil just looked at them and told them that they had no idea what was really going on around the Comstock and they should just go over and stay with couch and his Procto Palace.
So Thunder and Lil have been seein' each other for a while now and it looks like something may work out here.
Time will tell and I'll keep you all informed about how things are going.
Thunder
I don't know if it will ever work though, I cannot figure out where they are going to put all of this trash.
Couch's Snake Pit is still filled up with the same basher trash that have been dirtying up the town for the past couple of years and Doc Jim has opened up a place in the back room that he calls the Procto Palace.
He sure keeps busy servicing all them weirdo's that Couch brings in. I have no idea what he does there, but I would bet a fifty dollar gold piece on a pair of deuces that it ain't no good for a regular cowboy.
Couch bought some newfangled contraption with some long hoses on it that are hooked to some kind of pump that runs down to the outhouse. Nobody but Doc Jem and the rest of them snakes know what the thing does, but it sure doesn't look like a lot of fun to me or pretty much anybody else in town.
While I was on that last ride I stopped into this here place down south called Las Vegas. There was only a couple of gambling parlours with saloons in them in the whole place.
They was named The Golden Nugget and another wild looking place named after some old guy called Binion's.
The whole town doesn't seem like much to me, just a dry dusty place out in the middle of the desert that I doubt will ever be much of town. There sure isn't much to see down there and the nearest waterin' hole is about twenty miles away down in this place called Black Canyon. There was talk about putting in some sort of water storage place called a reservoir in a few years but that is going to take a lot of work and I doubt whether anybody would move out there just to live in such a god forsaken place.
Anyway while I was wetting my whistle over at the Golden Nugget I laid eyes on one of the prettiest filly's I have ever seen. She called herself Diamond Lil and was real busy gambling with all the drifters that happened to come through the saloon. She was all dolled up in the finest silk dress I have ever seen.
The thing was covered with all these sparkly things she called rhinestones. She told me that she had a whole wagon full of them dresses and I was so impressed that I sat down to play a few hands of poker with her.
Well, a few hands turned into an all niter and half the next day. We was playing poker, shooting the breeze and sipping some of the finest whiskey I have ever tasted.She tells me that she grew up out east back in Dan'l Boone country in this little town in Kentucky. She told me about all these Whiskey Distilleries scattered all over the county. Then she told me that most of those counties around there is dry and I had no idea what she was talking about.
She told me that the whiskey they made there had to be put on wagons and sold across the county lines or even the state line. I was incredulous and asked her how in the world they stayed in business.
Well, come to find out, she had known this here fine southern gentleman named Jim Beam and was out about the country peddling his whiskey. She had three whole wagons of the stuff and I was a hopin' that she was about to take a shine to me like I did to her.
So I spent the better part of two days tellin' her about the Comstock and all the folks that lived up in the hills around the mine.I told her about Judge Software, Red, MT, Couch and the dirtballs that hang around his place, I told her about PHX and most of the rest of the folks and she was right impressed with the sounds of it. I warned her about the rattler's a hanging around and how they was always trying to jump claims. She told me that no rattler has ever gotten close to her and from the way she handled herself I could see that she meant business.
So Diamond Lil decided that she would come to the Comstock and see what the place was all about. She did take a shine to me I guess 'cause she wanted me to ride with her entourage back home.
Now this is where I was really impressed.Diamond Lil had a wagon made up for her back in this town she called New Orleans, 'cept she pronounced it Nah'lens and it was fancier than Bob Allens undertakers wagon. This wagon had all kinds of sparkly things all over it and Lil told me that a lot of it was made from this stuff that came from someplace named Austria. She called it Austrian Crystal and it sparkled like a whole field of Comstock Gold in the June sun.
I ain't never laid eyes on something that fancy, but that was just the beginning.
Diamond Lil had 7 wagons all filled with all kinds of stuff and the three wagons filled with that Jim Beam Whiskey. She also brought along a bunch of girls that she had found while she had been traveling. They was some real nice looking girls too. They had names like Suzy Boomers, Big Betty's and another girl that went by the name of the Midnight Cowgirl. They was all fine lookin' and they all was happy to get moving to a better place than that Las Vegas hellhole.
So we all got to The Comstock and everybody in town came out to see what all the hubub was about. They was a shoutin' from the rooftops that ol' Thunder's brought back a dame.
We hit town and the partying started and ran for three days. There was all kinds of hell being raised and even ol MT was out on another wild one. Him and PHX was drunk for the entire time and they even closed up their general store just so they could keep partying.
I gotta say that Lil could handle her liquor though, She sipped and sipped all night long and I never once saw her even look a little bit tipsy.
So after all the drunks slept it off Lil decided that she should open up her own place.
The only place that could possibly hold all the folks that she brought with her was the old opera house that was owned by Bugs just before he passed on. There was some kind of a legal thing going on with it and the Clown got together with a bunch of them rattlers and was tryin' to steal it from MT as Bugs named him as the sole heir to his claim.Software had been working on the claim for quite some time and was busy in PHX's library trying to find some law that wouldn't allow the Clown to get the opera house.
So one fine Thursday afternoon when Software was holding court Lil got all fixed up and went into the court to contest the legal proceedings. Lil brought up how Couch and the Clown and the rest of them scumbags was bringin' down the property values and they could not be trusted with a place as fine as the Opera House. She argued and argued with them rattlers in court all in front of old Software all morning.Then she asked to see the Judge in his chambers. She gave old Software a steely eyed look that would make any cowboy this side of the Pecos River stand up and take notice.
So off they went.
They was back there in that anteroom for well over three hours and then they came out. Software was all red faced and looking like he had just had his hat handed to him. I ain't never seen Software look like that and I doubt if I ever will again.
He sat back down at the bench, looked at the rattlers, then looked over at Lil, then back at the rattlers and slammed down his gavel saying that the claim they filed was not legal in the State of Nevada and sold the Opera House to Lil for a price to be agreed upon by her and MT.
Well MT was so happy that he was not going to have to turn over the Opera House to the rattler's that he looked at Lil and told her she could buy it for twenty dollars and three cases of that Jim Beam Whiskey.
Lil reached into her purse, pulled out a bright shiny twenty dollar gold piece and handed it to Software. She looked at MT and told him that he could drink all the whiskey he wanted for the next six months at her place and she wouldn't charge him a dime.
You would think MT died and went to heaven judging from the look on his face. His smile was so big you could see all the gold molars he had.
That was the end of the court case and Lil was now the proud owner of the Opera House.
I found out later that Lil had known Software back when he was a Riverboat Gambler going up and down the Mississippi river. Evidently he had gotten himself into some real trouble involving the Mayor of New Orleans and the mayor's wife.I found out they was a fixin' to hang Software and Lil had stepped in and saved him from getting his neck stretched. I guess the Mayor's wife was messin around all over at the time and them being from down south the mayor wasn't too keen on finding a naked man with his wife.
So the mayor had the New Orleans sherrif throw Software in jail on a bunch of trumped up charges and they was going to hang him in the morning.
Now, being as sharp as she is Lil also had some information about the Mayor and had worked out a trade.
Software lit out of that town on a horse he borrowed from Lil and never returned it or paid for it so he was given the choice of facing the prospect of having her tell all the folks in the Comstock that respected Software what kind of a checkered past he really had.
I don't know if it would have mattered to the folks up here, but Software enjoyed his position as a judge and didn't want to hurt that image.
Lil and PHX got along real good and all the girls that Lil brought with her were not your typical barflies. Lil went into the General store that PHX and Tom owned and bought up all the hammers and nails and cleaning supplies they had in the place. She put her crew and a few of the other locals around town to work and the Opera House was back to looking like a real nice place.
She hung up this chandelier that was made out of more of the Austrian Crystal and ain't no one ever seen anything so fancy outside of San Francisco.
Them girls started teaching all the men in town how to read and write. I never would have thought it was possible myself. But they was a determined bunch.
There was gamblin' and dancin' and all kinds of fun going on over there at all hours of the day and night. Lil kept a tight rein on the place too. There was the normal amount of swearing going on, but there was no way she would let any of Couch's sleazy pukes into the place.
Of course them rattlers was a screamin' and yellin' all the louder. Lil just looked at them and told them that they had no idea what was really going on around the Comstock and they should just go over and stay with couch and his Procto Palace.
So Thunder and Lil have been seein' each other for a while now and it looks like something may work out here.
Time will tell and I'll keep you all informed about how things are going.
Thunder
The Place Is Goin' to Hell
I been out riding the range for a short while so I thought I would stop in just to see what has been going on around here.
Seems like ol' Couch has gotten a lot of his clientele lit up on the moonshine that he brews out back of his place again. I would be careful with that so called whiskey though, the well he gets the water to brew it with is located awfully close to the outhouse pit. The stuff always did have a funny smell.
They say Couch lost most of his eyesight when he cut his home brew whiskey with some of that black oil stuff they called gasoline that he bought from some guy named Doc Jim who was just pulling his wagon through town.Couch was so mad, he made the guy work for him until the cows came home or the clown went back to prison.
We are all still waiting for that to happen.
I hope the Clown takes his pack of ne'er-do-wells with him when he leaves. They are bringing down the property values.
Doc Jim like to brag that he is a surgeon. He says he went to this proctological school or something. Nobody here knows what he is talking about, but he has a steady stream of those bashers going in and out of his office all the time. They all seem pretty happy when they come out of there I gotta say.
Couch corralled some other guy a while back. Goes by the name of Crow. He says its because of dark hair, The rest of us think its because he was tarred and feathered at his last hangout.
Old BP has been taking shooting lessons from MT but Red told MT that it was a waste of time. Seems that BP hasn't learned when to keep the safety on. BP shot a hole right through the middle of MT's brand new Stetson. Put a crease right through MT's hair that MT has to comb over to cover. Boy was he mad...
It's fun watching BP get all lit up and go after Wizbritches though, Wiz has no idea which way to run. Wizbritches can move fast I gotta say, seems like survival is a strong motivator for him.
Software granted new names to a bunch of people around here, getting hard to figure out who is who and which is which.
Software is doing real well for himself though, he bought a new house from Extreme with this thing they call a toilet in it. Although, nobody's figured out where to hook the thing up to yet.
Gotta hand it to Extreme, he is quite the salesman, seems he saw one of those toilet things on his trip back east and decided somebody ought to have one in town.
Scheqky is also doing pretty well for himself. He went into San Francisco and bought a bunch of hardware and tools and opened up another general store. PHX and Tom weren't too pleased about this and tried to burn down his store one Saturday night. But they were both too drunk to get the thing going so they ended up with a big bonfire in the middle of the street when Tom stumbled over his own feet, spilled that gasoline stuff all over and then accidentally lit it with his stogie.
Old North Bay Clay got caught in in the mess and set his pants on fire. In all my born days I have never seen anybody run that fast.Seems he was pretty drunk too and fell in the mud that had some of that gasoline stuff in it.
I guess it soaked into his pants and went up when Tom's stogie dropped out of his mouth because he was laughing so hard. Clay was about 300 feet from the creek and I swear he made it in 3 strides. He farted while he was running and he looked like he was rocket propelled with flame shooting out of his ass like that.
Another new guy in town named Maddracha comes from some place across the pond and is a real nice guy. Watch him though, he has that funny grin that tells you he's holding something in his boot.
The rattlesnakes around town are still biting real bad. Seems they are as bad as the Minnesota Mosquitoes old Duluth used to talk about.
Bekkums hasn't been around for a while, I wonder what she's been up to. She was the best dancer at Red's place. She put on those fishnet stockings and the place went nuts.
That gelding that Red rides is much better now. Seems that the shot MT made did some good after all. Red was never able to break that horse until MT made his famous shot.
PHX is still hard to figure out though. She is the prettiest thing in town now but won't let anyone near her. Even Tom can't get near her and they own the other general store together. I guess nobody around here is used to having a high class woman around. She never swears or calls anybody names, or she calls them names that they can't figure out.
I guess she went to college down south and still reads a lot of books. She opened up a library but hardly anybody in town goes there because they don't know letters.
She has been talking about opening up a school in town.
Myself I think it's a waste of time trying to bring civilization to a place like this.
Well, Thunder's gonna head down to Red's place now and see if he can't stir up some trouble with this luscious little blonde. Nice talking to you, and I'll see you around.
Thunder
Seems like ol' Couch has gotten a lot of his clientele lit up on the moonshine that he brews out back of his place again. I would be careful with that so called whiskey though, the well he gets the water to brew it with is located awfully close to the outhouse pit. The stuff always did have a funny smell.
They say Couch lost most of his eyesight when he cut his home brew whiskey with some of that black oil stuff they called gasoline that he bought from some guy named Doc Jim who was just pulling his wagon through town.Couch was so mad, he made the guy work for him until the cows came home or the clown went back to prison.
We are all still waiting for that to happen.
I hope the Clown takes his pack of ne'er-do-wells with him when he leaves. They are bringing down the property values.
Doc Jim like to brag that he is a surgeon. He says he went to this proctological school or something. Nobody here knows what he is talking about, but he has a steady stream of those bashers going in and out of his office all the time. They all seem pretty happy when they come out of there I gotta say.
Couch corralled some other guy a while back. Goes by the name of Crow. He says its because of dark hair, The rest of us think its because he was tarred and feathered at his last hangout.
Old BP has been taking shooting lessons from MT but Red told MT that it was a waste of time. Seems that BP hasn't learned when to keep the safety on. BP shot a hole right through the middle of MT's brand new Stetson. Put a crease right through MT's hair that MT has to comb over to cover. Boy was he mad...
It's fun watching BP get all lit up and go after Wizbritches though, Wiz has no idea which way to run. Wizbritches can move fast I gotta say, seems like survival is a strong motivator for him.
Software granted new names to a bunch of people around here, getting hard to figure out who is who and which is which.
Software is doing real well for himself though, he bought a new house from Extreme with this thing they call a toilet in it. Although, nobody's figured out where to hook the thing up to yet.
Gotta hand it to Extreme, he is quite the salesman, seems he saw one of those toilet things on his trip back east and decided somebody ought to have one in town.
Scheqky is also doing pretty well for himself. He went into San Francisco and bought a bunch of hardware and tools and opened up another general store. PHX and Tom weren't too pleased about this and tried to burn down his store one Saturday night. But they were both too drunk to get the thing going so they ended up with a big bonfire in the middle of the street when Tom stumbled over his own feet, spilled that gasoline stuff all over and then accidentally lit it with his stogie.
Old North Bay Clay got caught in in the mess and set his pants on fire. In all my born days I have never seen anybody run that fast.Seems he was pretty drunk too and fell in the mud that had some of that gasoline stuff in it.
I guess it soaked into his pants and went up when Tom's stogie dropped out of his mouth because he was laughing so hard. Clay was about 300 feet from the creek and I swear he made it in 3 strides. He farted while he was running and he looked like he was rocket propelled with flame shooting out of his ass like that.
Another new guy in town named Maddracha comes from some place across the pond and is a real nice guy. Watch him though, he has that funny grin that tells you he's holding something in his boot.
The rattlesnakes around town are still biting real bad. Seems they are as bad as the Minnesota Mosquitoes old Duluth used to talk about.
Bekkums hasn't been around for a while, I wonder what she's been up to. She was the best dancer at Red's place. She put on those fishnet stockings and the place went nuts.
That gelding that Red rides is much better now. Seems that the shot MT made did some good after all. Red was never able to break that horse until MT made his famous shot.
PHX is still hard to figure out though. She is the prettiest thing in town now but won't let anyone near her. Even Tom can't get near her and they own the other general store together. I guess nobody around here is used to having a high class woman around. She never swears or calls anybody names, or she calls them names that they can't figure out.
I guess she went to college down south and still reads a lot of books. She opened up a library but hardly anybody in town goes there because they don't know letters.
She has been talking about opening up a school in town.
Myself I think it's a waste of time trying to bring civilization to a place like this.
Well, Thunder's gonna head down to Red's place now and see if he can't stir up some trouble with this luscious little blonde. Nice talking to you, and I'll see you around.
Thunder
Welcome to the Comstock Newbie's and Rangers
Welcome to the Goldspring Comstock
Mine, and the adventures of the Long
Rangers.
Remember, everything that grows around here will either bite you, stab
you or sting you... Somebody really famous said that about Texas once,
but I think he was really talking about the Comstock.
Watch out for some of these rattlesnakes around here, they have a nasty
bite. But if you're quick you can dodge them. A lot of them change
colors about as often as I change my shorts so you gotta be quick.
Don't be afraid to blast them when they slither out from under whatever
rock they are hiding under. They have lots of hiding places and are
always looking for a sucker to chase out of their claim.
Most of the places serve watered down liquor. That's really not a bad
thing though. I couldn't imagine the damage around here if all these
characters were drinking the good stuff.
Couch's place is at the end of the street and is right between the town
outhouse and the stockyards so the smell and the flies keep the business down. He occasionally gets all liquored up on cheap vodka and starts
blasting at everything he sees. It's ok though because he doesn't see
very well so it's easy to keep out of his way provided we keep hiding
his scattergun from him. Everybody gets a turn at doing that. He does
get lucky every now and again though and there are a few people around
here that have picked buckshot out of their backside.
Be really careful at that outhouse next to Couches place. He feeds the rattler's hiding in there.
Most of the girls are ok but watch your wallet if you go upstairs with
one.
Extreme runs the Assay office and rents out houses all over town. Don't
worry about being on the wrong side of the tracks though, there ain't
one.
Laura used to work as one of the dancing girls. She ran into some high
roller a while back and took off for parts unknown. She turns up every
now and again in some of the cutest little black dresses and shoes that
shine like the sun on a Comstock nugget. If you catch it right, you can
tell what color her bloomers are from the reflection on her shoes. If
she does show up don't play poker with her, she keeps her garter stocked
with aces and a derringer.
Whatever you do don't let them talk you into a ride through the
Cholla's!!!
A guy named the Clown did that a while back and he has been pulling prickers out of his ass since he got out of prison. I guess he had a
boyfriend in prison that he brought back with him and has been hanging
around lately. Something about his buttcrack. I don't understand what
that is all about, but I guess whatever cocks your pistol...It is not
really something that I would brag about but they seem to enjoy that
kind of thing.
Oh well, at least they won't reproduce.
Darby has a palmistry shop here, he's always talking in some foreign
language about boiling some teakettle or something. Darby knows the lay
of the land though, so pay attention to him when he starts with his
mystic triangle thing.
Bugs was the local contingent of the Texas Rangers and is buried up on
boot hill. He was a good man. He rode into town every Saturday night and raised a lot of hell. Him and Red Durrantler and Mark Twain were always hanging together. MT is still here, but he seems to have lost some of his fire. We all
loved Bugs, and we all miss him.
Watch out for MT. He is the deadliest pistolero since Wild Bill himself. You get him mad at you and you are likely to be finding yourself in a bad way real quick. He once shot the balls off Red Durrantler's horse
from a half mile away with his trusty Sharps rifle.
Red won that horse from MT in a card game with a full house, aces and
eights. Red tells everybody that MT was just mad about losing the horse
but was too drunk to hit him. I guess we'll never know the truth. The
two of them are still best of friends and never pick a fight with either
one of them unless you want to fight both.
You can always tell when those two are on a bender, they sing this song
about some bloody rich thing at the top of their lungs.
Software is the hanging judge, everything and everyone eventually ends
up in front of his desk. He has this thing about sentencing people to
dig a new outhouse pit when they start blasting away for no good reason.
If you really get him mad, he makes you clean out the old pit before you dig a new one. So be careful and mind your manners around him. He's the only one in
town not afraid of Red and MT.
Tom and PHX run the general store, that's a good place to get supplies
but the gold dust scale tips a little light on the miners end so keep an eye on them. Tom has this thing in his eye that keeps him winking. I
just think he's shifty.
Some guy named Seadoc is building a boat out on the
border telling everybody that he is going to be ready when California slides off
into the Pacific.
Go figure.
Bob Alan is the undertaker, he has a real nice place out on the edge of
town and lots of pretty stuff in it that he got when he buried some of
those Missouri Redlegs that Bugs, Red and MT took care of. I wouldn't
really hang around there a lot though, he thinks everybody is his
customer. Just a matter of time I guess.
Then there's Cessna, I think he has been hanging around the opium den a
bit too much lately, he has this idea that man can fly. In all my born
days I have never heard of such a thing.
Me, they call me Thunder, I moved in back in 08. I don't tell all the stories around here, but I stop in and spin a few good yarns from time to time.
So, keep your six guns at the ready and it is always a good idea to have an
equalizer in your boot. Play your cards close to your vest and don't
count your chickens before they hatch and you'll do alright.
It's a raucous place for certain but the rewards could be huge if you
stick around awhile.
If nothing else, it is truly entertaining.
Thunder
Mine, and the adventures of the Long
Rangers.
Remember, everything that grows around here will either bite you, stab
you or sting you... Somebody really famous said that about Texas once,
but I think he was really talking about the Comstock.
Watch out for some of these rattlesnakes around here, they have a nasty
bite. But if you're quick you can dodge them. A lot of them change
colors about as often as I change my shorts so you gotta be quick.
Don't be afraid to blast them when they slither out from under whatever
rock they are hiding under. They have lots of hiding places and are
always looking for a sucker to chase out of their claim.
Most of the places serve watered down liquor. That's really not a bad
thing though. I couldn't imagine the damage around here if all these
characters were drinking the good stuff.
Couch's place is at the end of the street and is right between the town
outhouse and the stockyards so the smell and the flies keep the business down. He occasionally gets all liquored up on cheap vodka and starts
blasting at everything he sees. It's ok though because he doesn't see
very well so it's easy to keep out of his way provided we keep hiding
his scattergun from him. Everybody gets a turn at doing that. He does
get lucky every now and again though and there are a few people around
here that have picked buckshot out of their backside.
Be really careful at that outhouse next to Couches place. He feeds the rattler's hiding in there.
Most of the girls are ok but watch your wallet if you go upstairs with
one.
Extreme runs the Assay office and rents out houses all over town. Don't
worry about being on the wrong side of the tracks though, there ain't
one.
Laura used to work as one of the dancing girls. She ran into some high
roller a while back and took off for parts unknown. She turns up every
now and again in some of the cutest little black dresses and shoes that
shine like the sun on a Comstock nugget. If you catch it right, you can
tell what color her bloomers are from the reflection on her shoes. If
she does show up don't play poker with her, she keeps her garter stocked
with aces and a derringer.
Whatever you do don't let them talk you into a ride through the
Cholla's!!!
A guy named the Clown did that a while back and he has been pulling prickers out of his ass since he got out of prison. I guess he had a
boyfriend in prison that he brought back with him and has been hanging
around lately. Something about his buttcrack. I don't understand what
that is all about, but I guess whatever cocks your pistol...It is not
really something that I would brag about but they seem to enjoy that
kind of thing.
Oh well, at least they won't reproduce.
Darby has a palmistry shop here, he's always talking in some foreign
language about boiling some teakettle or something. Darby knows the lay
of the land though, so pay attention to him when he starts with his
mystic triangle thing.
Bugs was the local contingent of the Texas Rangers and is buried up on
boot hill. He was a good man. He rode into town every Saturday night and raised a lot of hell. Him and Red Durrantler and Mark Twain were always hanging together. MT is still here, but he seems to have lost some of his fire. We all
loved Bugs, and we all miss him.
Watch out for MT. He is the deadliest pistolero since Wild Bill himself. You get him mad at you and you are likely to be finding yourself in a bad way real quick. He once shot the balls off Red Durrantler's horse
from a half mile away with his trusty Sharps rifle.
Red won that horse from MT in a card game with a full house, aces and
eights. Red tells everybody that MT was just mad about losing the horse
but was too drunk to hit him. I guess we'll never know the truth. The
two of them are still best of friends and never pick a fight with either
one of them unless you want to fight both.
You can always tell when those two are on a bender, they sing this song
about some bloody rich thing at the top of their lungs.
Software is the hanging judge, everything and everyone eventually ends
up in front of his desk. He has this thing about sentencing people to
dig a new outhouse pit when they start blasting away for no good reason.
If you really get him mad, he makes you clean out the old pit before you dig a new one. So be careful and mind your manners around him. He's the only one in
town not afraid of Red and MT.
Tom and PHX run the general store, that's a good place to get supplies
but the gold dust scale tips a little light on the miners end so keep an eye on them. Tom has this thing in his eye that keeps him winking. I
just think he's shifty.
Some guy named Seadoc is building a boat out on the
border telling everybody that he is going to be ready when California slides off
into the Pacific.
Go figure.
Bob Alan is the undertaker, he has a real nice place out on the edge of
town and lots of pretty stuff in it that he got when he buried some of
those Missouri Redlegs that Bugs, Red and MT took care of. I wouldn't
really hang around there a lot though, he thinks everybody is his
customer. Just a matter of time I guess.
Then there's Cessna, I think he has been hanging around the opium den a
bit too much lately, he has this idea that man can fly. In all my born
days I have never heard of such a thing.
Me, they call me Thunder, I moved in back in 08. I don't tell all the stories around here, but I stop in and spin a few good yarns from time to time.
So, keep your six guns at the ready and it is always a good idea to have an
equalizer in your boot. Play your cards close to your vest and don't
count your chickens before they hatch and you'll do alright.
It's a raucous place for certain but the rewards could be huge if you
stick around awhile.
If nothing else, it is truly entertaining.
Thunder
Life on the Comstock
Yes, Yes, Yes.
Been doing some traveling and have run across this little Goldmine up in the Comstock Region of Nevada.
So I figured that I would let you all know what is going on around here. It's kind of a messy place sometimes, and the clientele of the place leaves a bit to be desired. But It sure is fun!!!
So sit back, pour yourself a tumbler of some good whiskey and enjoy life on the Comstock.
Thunder
Been doing some traveling and have run across this little Goldmine up in the Comstock Region of Nevada.
So I figured that I would let you all know what is going on around here. It's kind of a messy place sometimes, and the clientele of the place leaves a bit to be desired. But It sure is fun!!!
So sit back, pour yourself a tumbler of some good whiskey and enjoy life on the Comstock.
Thunder
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